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Misc. Medical Cartoons

Everyone is out with the flu, the computers all have a virus and the shredder just threw up.
I hear reggae rhythms, disco drums, thumping hip-hop, toe-tapping western swing and 80\'s techno beats. I think your pacemaker is stuck on \'shuffle\'.
Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, get plenty of fiber in your diet, walk for 30 to 60 minutes every day, limit your intake of sugar, fat and alcohol....
Your heart is filled with the joy of Christmas, so I'm scheduling you for angioplasty after the holidays.
Last year I had to pay through the nose. Can I write off the cost of my sinus treatments?
I have a note from my doctor. I'm allergic to criticism!
My doctor says fish is the best food for weight loss so I ordered an anchovy pizza.
We heard from the organ bank. A turkey donated his giblets to you.
Are you under a lot of stress lately or have you always had six separate heartbeats?
I don't have time to jog or lift weights. If it weren't for smoking, my lungs wouldn't get any exercise at all!
Larry accidentally drank some decaf! Does anyone here know how to use a defibrillator?
Fitness Experts say your muscles need plenty of rest between workouts. Your last workout was 17 years ago.
I respect that you're a vegetarian, but I can't authorize using an artichoke heart for your transplant.
My doctor says I need more fresh air and sunshine. I wonder if there\'s an app for that?
At your age, Tommy, a boy\'s body goes through changes that are not always easy to understand.
For fast relief from stress, depression and anxiety, four out of five doctors recommend money!
More walking, less flying.
Laughter is the best medicine. That\'s why I\'m prescribing marijuana.
I stay healthy by following a strict vegetarian diet –– nothing but coffee and cigarettes!
My bones are getting softer, but my arteries are getting harder, so it balances out!
You\'re suffering from a serious medical condition called \'lousy insurance\'.

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