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Misc. Education

If a bus built in 1987 leaves Pittsburgh at 9:14 and Robert sets his crockpot to start cooking a 6 pound roast at 2:09, how long will it take your parents to stop helping with your homework?
A Farewell To Arms was not written by Venus deMilo.
Mount Rushmore cost taxpayers millions of dollars. If it was up to me, I would have made their faces into Pez dispensers instead.
I tapped the page, but nothing happened!
I\'m not sure if my bachelor\'s degree is still valid. I\'m married now.
Plan B: You get a job and we send your smartphone to college.
Try to think of each sentence as a tweet sent by a celebrity named William Shakespeare.
Remember, graduates –– if you are not completely satisfied with your education, your ignorance will be cheerfully refunded.
In appreciation for 25 years of service as a kindergarten teacher, we made you this gold watch from macaroni and glitter.
Yes, love is the answer...but not on a math test.
My report is about music from the 1960's, but my spell-checker made me leave out The Beatles, Monkees and Byrds!
I'm enrolling in seminary college so I can learn about miracles, like how ot pay off my student loans.
I saw the bright light and the tunnel, but they sent me back because I haven\'t finished paying my student loans.
First they build up your confidence with simple addition and subtraction, then they slam you with algebra and calculus. It\'s quite a clever scheme.
I don\'t like to give a lot of homework over the weekend, so just read every other word.
Man kids never hear that word at home, so I added \'no\' to our vocabulary lesson.
If you write your autobiography when you're old, you can see where you've been. If you write it when you're young, you can see where you're going!
Our substitute teacher is an app!
I\'d like to go into politics when I grow up. When are we going to learn some fuzzy math?
If you want a better answer, ask a better question.
Your mother and I have saved enough money to send you to any college you like. Would you prefer train or bus?

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