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Misc. Business Cartoons

If you want a comfortable retirement, invest most of your money in stocks, bonds, mutual funds and hemorrhoid cream.
Of course I give money to those who are less fortunate than me! My limo driver is less fortunate than me, the crew of my yacht is less fortunate than me, my private jet pilot is less than fortunate than me, my personal chef is less fortunate than me....
The word 'invoice' is too soft and friendly. We need a new word that means 'pay up or die'.
To help you enjoy summer, I'm giving you every-other-minute off
It's a special hearing aid. It filters out criticism and amplifies compliments.
She was on vacation for three weeks, but burned up on re-entry.
I don't bring my work phone on vacation. If it's an emergency, call my shell.
We've updated our healthcare plan. If you get sick, we'll send you a Get Well card. If the card doesn't make you feel better, you can sue the card company to pay for your hospital bills.
Yes, I think I have good people skills. What kind of idiot question is that?
I would like you to be more self-reliant, show more initiative and accept greater responsibility -- but check with me first.
We can afford the 3D printer if we use it to print more customers.
I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Can you repeat everything you've said to me since you started working here?
The bad news is, the market threw a wrench into your retirement plans. The good news is, you can probably sell the wrench for $10 on eBay!
My boss takes credit for every good thing I do. Rumor has it, he's going to be a mother soon.
You found a dime on the sidewalk and didn't invest it. Does this mean you've changed your mind about retiring someday?
We need an immediate influx of cash to keep our company in business. How quickly can you organize a bake sale?
Explain to me again why enjoying life when I retire is more important than enjoying life now.
If you're going to put all of your eggs in one basket, I recommend you also invest in chickens, baskets and maybe bacon.
That's Shirley's desk. I'm not sure if she's a workaholic or just shy.
If I give you a raise, you'll spend more money. If you spend more money, it will strengthen the economy. If the economy gets stronger, I can hire more people. If I hire more people, one of them might turn out to be an idiot who bankrupts my company. That's why I can't give you a raise!
Our investors lack confidence. My fern died and our stock fell 27 points.

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