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If they don't respond to our 'final demand' for payment, send them our 'absolute final demand for payment'. If they don't respond to that, send them our 'final absolute final demand for payment'.
The bank found suspicious activity on my credit card. It was being used responsibly to buy necessary things.
I found out that my share of the national debt is $275,000. That's when I started chasing my tail and drinking from the toilet.
I retire on Friday and I haven\'t saved a dime. Here\'s your chance to become a legend!
Here\'s our new retirement plan –– At age 65, we\'ll get divorced then marry other people who planned better.
One more time – explain to me why enjoying life after I retire is more important than enjoying life now.
It\'s not my fault that you didn\'t put more stones aside for your retirement!
I'm looking for a fierce negotiator to protect my interests against a formidable adversary. My kid wants a raise in his allowance.
I work 80 hours a week and you work 90 hours a week --- but we earn too much to be classified as a \'working family\'.
You still owe $12,000 in student loans from a past life.
Despite the installation of trampolines on the trading floor, Wall Street failed to bounce back today...
I bought out three lemonade stands this morning and made a 50% return on my investment by 4 o'clock. How was your day?
Look at the bright side. Bad credit is your best protection against identity theft.
Any other collateral besides your heart of gold and million-dollar smile?
After investing as much as possible over the past 25 years, I think it\'s time to rollover my retirement fund into pizza and a movie.
In an effort to rescue the economy, Superman spent $500 at the mall today...
You\'re confused. That means I explained it properly.
Your grandmother sent you $5 for your birthday. Put it in the bank for a very long time and someday it will be worth $2.
Diversification is important. The more investments you have, the longer it takes to figure out how much you've lost.
Papa Bear's investments were too risky. Mama Bear's investments were too safe. But Baby Bear's investments were juuuuuuuust right!
Sometimes the best investments are the ones you don't make. Let's go with that strategy and see where it takes us.

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