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If you work hard and invest wisely, you can afford to turn 65 on your 80th birthday.
If dolphins are just as smart as humans, why aren\'t we investing in underwater shopping malls and teaching them how to use credit cards?
One more time – explain to me why enjoying life after I retire is more important than enjoying life now.
On your last day of work, you get to keep all the returnable cans and bottles in the break room. That\'s our pension plan.
Where is this retirement income stream I keep hearing about?
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I reviewed your investments and set you up for early retirement. On your last day of work, you can afford to leave at 4:30 instead of 5:00.
My advice, Cinderella, is pay sales tax on the pumpkin before it changes into a golden carriage.
For a healthier economy, I recommend a fitness program of high-intensity interval spending.
I have 1000 TV remote batteries, 2500 bags of potato chips and 3000 bottles of beer saved for my retirement. Do I need anything else?
You will want to get a hobby after you retire. Hunting and gathering might be good.
You found a dime on the sidewalk and didn\'t invest it. Does this mean you\'ve changed your mind about retiring someday?
The good news is, nobody will ever hate you for being rich.
Here\'s our new retirement plan –– At age 65, we\'ll get divorced then marry other people who planned better.
Here\'s our new retirement plan –– At age 65, we\'ll get divorced then marry other people who planned better.
The bank found suspicious activity on my credit card. It was being used responsibly to buy necessary things.
My short-term goal is to keep some of my paycheck until Tuesday. My long-term goal is to keep some of my paycheck until Friday.
Stocks plummeted today to a near-record low because that\'s what stocks do sometimes.
Since I started couponing, I\'ve purchased 18 companies and spent only $23.49!
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The bad news is, the market threw a wrench into your retirement plans. The good news is, you can probably sell the wrench for $10 on eBay!

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