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We forgot to back up our files, so we're asking everyone to remember everything they've typed during the past 10 days.
Until the virus has been identified and removed, IT has issued an immediate ban on any use of e-mail attachments. For more details, please refer to the attached document.
It's not just you. We're all insecure in one way or another.
If we want to succeed as a team, we need to put aside our own selfish, individual interests and start doing things my way.
I was not rude to the customer. I said, 'drop dead PLEASE!'
Once a week, we make the coffee with chicken soup instead of water. That\'s our healthcare plan.
If at first you don\'t succeed, press 1. If life gives you lemons, press 2. If you\'re a squeaky wheel that needs to be greased, press 3. If your actions don\'t speak louder than words, press 4. If you have all of your eggs in one basket, press 5.
Some women are married to their career, but I'm waiting for the company to throw me a big expensive wedding first.
I found room in the budget to update your office equipment. Would you rather have a box of paperclips or a new pencil?
Take one pill as needed for stress. Throw it over your cubicle and bounce it off the head of an annoying coworker.
We need to put some healthier stuff in the office kitchen. Which foods are good for strengthening brittle egos?
You participate with enthusiasm during staff meetings and never hesitate to offer a creative suggestion or opinion. That has to stop.
I set my fitness band every morning when I get to work. My trip to Hell and back every day is 1,397 steps.
As I read the minutes of our last meeting, please keep in mind that each minute actually felt more like an hour.
If you must snack at your desk, try devouring the competition!
The computer is tired of you taking all the credit and it's demanding half of you paycheck.
Ever have one of those days when you're not sure whether you're in the zone, out of the box, under the gun, over the hump or behind the curve?
Bring Someone Else's Child To Work Day. You wouldn't want your own kid to see what you go through every day!
On one hand, I\'m troubled that one of my employees is using medical marijuana. On the other hand, it\'s nice that someone is actually laughing at my jokes.
Always cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. I don't want anyone to catch your bad attitude.
My greatest strength is my ability to see the big picture. I grew up in a town with a drive-in movie theater.

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