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Office Cartoons

I\'ve joined a cult that believes in high quality products, superior customer service and responsible corporate behavior. You should come to one of our meetings.
Our financial outlook is improving. The price of red ink just went down.
Yes, we have an early retirement program. We withhold two dollars from each paycheck to buy you a lottery ticket.
I'm pleased with the results of your drug test. We found traces of greed, tenacity and ambition in your urine!
You\'ll get a paycheck every Friday, a place to stay dry when it rains, free music in the elevators, heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer. All part of our generous employee benefits program!
She brushed out my tangles, shampooed my fur and trimmed my nails. I think they\'re grooming me for a management position.
When I said it's time to step up to the plate, I didn't mean go to lunch early!
How do I download something from the cloud on a clear, sunny day?
Never touch the screen while you're compressing a file!
We need to make room for the new hires. We\'re moving you to the cloud.
I promise not to fire you for being dead wood if you promise to do something about your termites.
If you'd like to be put on hold for a very long time, press 1. To resolve your issue quickly with a speedy return to your stressful day, press 2
Care for some freshly-ground antidepressants in your coffee?
Due to unusually high call volume, this conversation will be really loud.
Thank you for calling Customer Service. To begin an endless and futile series of button pushing, press 1.
I\'ll be home late. I\'ve joined a support group for women who need a reason to stay at work until the house is picked up and dinner is on the table.
We're revising our dress code to encourage greater diversity. Who's your favorite Star Wars character?
I got a speeding ticket on my way to work. I was driving under the influence of bran.
Dan, you are my most valuable employee. Your ineptitude consistently raises the self-esteem of everyone you work with.
Yes, we hire people with disabilities. We have a VP who\'s blind to his own flaws, we have an office manager who can\'t walk and chew gum at the same time, we have an admin assistant who\'s deaf to criticism....
We're a green company. I like the part where you describe yourself as biodegradable, organic and locally grown.

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