Weight Loss / Dieting / Healthy Eating - Glasbergen Cartoon Service

$I\'m here to file an eviction notice against my cellulite.$

$I lost 5 pounds this week, but if you converti it to metric, then factor in dog years and the wind chill factor, it\'s more like 15 pounds.$

$Take a a few capsules each morning before you weigh yourself. They\'re filled with helium.$

$Time management is a myth. If I had any control over time, I\'d still be sixteen years old and weigh 90 pounds!$

$I\'d like to order a large deluxe pizza with everything, except sausage, pepperoni, anchovies, mushrooms, onions, peppers, meatballs, bacon, cheese, sauce and crust.$

$Food coloring doesn\'t turn mac-n-cheese into a vegetable, but at least it gets kids used to eating something green.$

$With this diet, you don\'t count calories, fat or carbs. You count people who suffer from heart disease, diabetes and high blood pressure.$

$My grandfather hasn\'t had a cigarette, a sip of booze or a cheeseburger since he died and it hasn\'t done him any good!$

$I don\'t hate my thighs anymore. I pay my daughter $10 a week to hate them for me.$

$If you\'d like a healthy alternative, we can wrap your cheeseburger, fries and fruit pie in a low-fat tortilla.$