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Weight Loss / Dieting / Healthy Eating

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Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherburne, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707. E-MAIL: randy@glasbergen.com Entertainment
Resistance training is just as important as cardio. Train yourself to resist chocolate, pastries, fried foods, beer, pizza.....
I'm supposed to to eat kale for smoother skin, turkey for stronger nails, fish for thinner thighs, oats for cardiovascular benefits, cabbage for leaner abdominals, salmon for softer hair, beets for a healthier colon, steak for muscle tone, blueberries for lower cholesterol, pasta for greater endurance, cheese for younger teeth and bones....
A low-carb diet is bad for you. One of my patients slipped on some bacon grease and broke her leg!
I don't want diet soda that tastes like lemons and limes –– I want diet soda that tastes like a bacon cheeseburger!
The best way to lose weight? Become a celebrity and get hired to do commercials for a weight-loss product.
You can criticize my weight all you want, but I know for a fact that the middle class is shrinking!
Everyone knows food is bad for you, but I don't know what else to eat!
If they can make healthy electronic cigarettes, why can't they make healthy electronic pizza?
You told me to eat more fish, but my weight stays the same no matter how many anchovies I put on my pizza!
I'd like you to eat more fruit and vegetables, but they're not covered by your health insurance plan.
Don't slice the pizza. My diet says I'm only allowed to eat one piece.
Have a stuffy nose? Lose some weight. Sore finger? Lose some weight. Chapped lips? Lose some weight. That's pretty much my cure for everything.
I'm on the Book Diet. Whenever I need a snack, I feed my brain instead of my body!

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