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Health Insurance / HMO

If you are not completely satisfied with your health insurance, your illness will be cheerfully refunded.
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Your health insurance doesn't pay for heartburn. You need fire insurance for that.

You're right, $500 for an aspirin is outrageous. It's supposed to be $5,000!
We've updated our healthcare plan. If you get sick, we'll send you a Get Well card. If the card doesn't make you feel better, you can sue the card company to pay for your hospital bills.
The doctor will be in shortly to type on the computer and update your chart. If he has time, he will ask how you're feeling and take a look at your rash.

Please don't pray for healing. If it works, your insurance won't know who to reimburse and it messes up our accounting system.
You can get a discount on company health insurance if you let your coworkers diagnose you with information they find on the Internet.
If you are not 100% satisfied with your surgery, the defective organ will be cheerfully refunded.

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This Week’s Cartoons

The Politician's Lunch is a pork sandwich and we send the bill to your grandchildren. The government is providing free college education for everyone. It will be paid for by a new beer and pizza tax. Everywhere I go, people are eager to shake my hand and shower me with compliments. With that kind of charisma, I'd be crazy not to run for office! The government sent us a check. We've failed so many diets, our kitchen qualifies as a disaster area! toon_13 Facebook friends are better than real friends. Nobody on Facebook has bad breath! Is there a GPS app that can help my husband find a faster route to the dishwasher and vacuum cleaner?

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