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Health Insurance / HMO

I can prescribe medical marijuana, but your insurance won't pay for the Bob Marley CDs.
Please make an effort to get along with your fellow employees. Back-stabbing is no longer covered by our medical insurance plan.
Our supplemental medical insurance covers you for snits, cooties, heebie-jeebies, hissy fits, conniptions and a case of the Mondays.
Before I let you kiss the boo-boo, is there a co-pay?
You are a very, very sick man. Ask your family to pray for your insurance company.
If you are not completely satisfied with your health insurance, your illness will be cheerfully refunded.
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Your insurance provides coverage for catastrophic events -- but a bad haircut doesn't qualify.
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Your health insurance doesn't pay for heartburn. You need fire insurance for that.
You're right, $500 for an aspirin is outrageous. It's supposed to be $5,000!
We've updated our healthcare plan. If you get sick, we'll send you a Get Well card. If the card doesn't make you feel better, you can sue the card company to pay for your hospital bills.
The doctor will be in shortly to type on the computer and update your chart. If he has time, he will ask how you're feeling and take a look at your rash.
Please don't pray for healing. If it works, your insurance won't know who to reimburse and it messes up our accounting system.
You can get a discount on company health insurance if you let your coworkers diagnose you with information they find on the Internet.
If you are not 100% satisfied with your surgery, the defective organ will be cheerfully refunded.
I'd like you to eat more fruit and vegetables, but they're not covered by your health insurance plan.

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