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Fitness and Exercise

Before I was born, I swam 24 hours a day, but I still came into the world weak and chubby!

I must be allergic to exercise. It makes me break out in excuses.

I started my exercise program this afternoon. I drove past a store that sells sweat pants.

Fitness experts say 90 minutes of tail wagging burns as many calories as walking two miles!

My goal is to start exercising by the 1st of Someday and lose ten pounds by the day after Eternity.

If you want rock hard abs, you can do 500 sit-ups every day - or you can stick a Viagra in your navel.

You've been neglecting your legs. You should add some squats to your workout.

Bicycling is a great way to lose weight. Swallowing bugs for an hour will spoil your appetite.

I was born with chubby thights. You gonna blame that on beer and junk food?

I won't be going out for a run at lunch time. I already had an aerobic tantrum this morning.

Access requires a password, a retina scan, fingerprint analysis, and a DNA sample. It's the best refrigerator I ever owned!

My doctor told me to set realistic weight loss goals. My goal is to only gain 2 pounds this month.

This treadmill is so high-tech, you burn 100 calories just selecting your workout program!

I tried all the fitness fads, but my doctor was right all along, walking is still the best exercise.

How many times should I push the elevator buttons to equal the same calories as taking the stairs?

Step 1: apply Miracle Cellulite Cream to problem areas. Step 2: run 10 miles a day.

My coach believes it's important to develop the entire body, not just the pecs and biceps.

I've got to do some serious kissing up to get my promotion. Do you have a lip machine?

Fitness Experts say your muscles need plenty of rest between workouts. Your last workout was 17 years ago.

I'm the workout Fairy. I'm here to tighten your abs!

toon-3376

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