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Doctors

When I fell in love, I turn into a complete idiot. Is stupidity a sexually transmitted disease?
A comfortable recliner can help you relax before bed. I also suggest you get a decaffinated coffee table.
I didn't know I was pregnant. My office is such a stressful place to work, everyone feels nauseous in the morning!

I respect that you're a vegetarian, but I can't authorize using an artichoke heart for your transplant.
Bicycling is a great way to lose weight. Swallowing bugs for an hour will spoil your appetite.
You have Jethro Tull Syndrome. Too old to rock and roll, too young to die.

My bones are getting softer, but my arteries are getting harder, so it balances out!
We've made a major breakthrough. We've developed an artificial heart that runs on cholesterol!
At first I thought it was trickle down economics, but now I think it might be a weak bladder.

We can't find anything wrong with you, so we're going to treat you for Symptom Deficit Disorder.
Your new hip and knee replacements come with a remote control app for Tap, Waltz, Foxtrot, Cha-cha, Jitterbug, Texas Two Step, Irish Folk Dance and Disco.
You are a type 8 diabetic. That's a type 2 with 4 times more excuses than the average patient.

Your chart says you were conceived in a lab from a frozen egg and sperm...
Your new hip and knee replacements come with a remote control app for Tap, Waltz, Foxtrot, Cha-cha, Jitterbug, Texas Two Step, Irish Folk Dance and Disco.
Oh yes, I see the problem - you have a flat wooden stick growing out of your tongue!

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