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Doctors

My bones are getting softer, but my arteries are getting harder, so it balances out!
We've made a major breakthrough. We've developed an artificial heart that runs on cholesterol!
At first I thought it was trickle down economics, but now I think it might be a weak bladder.

We can't find anything wrong with you, so we're going to treat you for Symptom Deficit Disorder.
Your new hip and knee replacements come with a remote control app for Tap, Waltz, Foxtrot, Cha-cha, Jitterbug, Texas Two Step, Irish Folk Dance and Disco.
You are a type 8 diabetic. That's a type 2 with 4 times more excuses than the average patient.

Your chart says you were conceived in a lab from a frozen egg and sperm...
Your new hip and knee replacements come with a remote control app for Tap, Waltz, Foxtrot, Cha-cha, Jitterbug, Texas Two Step, Irish Folk Dance and Disco.
Oh yes, I see the problem - you have a flat wooden stick growing out of your tongue!

1_toon_10
When your cold heart crosses with your hot temper creates a storm front and severe weather conditions.
Have a stuffy nose? Lose some weight. Sore finger? Lose some weight. Chapped lips? Lose some weight. That's pretty much my cure for everything.

You can still enjoy a cocktail before dinner. Have you ever tried a fish oil martini?
I'm the doctor who brings the cards. I'm a cardiologist.
Two hours in our waiting room with a bunch of coughing people and screaming children. That was your stress test.

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