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Assorted Medical, Health, Doctor and Hospital Cartoons

Surgeons put you to sleep so you can't watch them and learn how to fix yourself.

I have good news, Frosty. The lump we found turned out to be coal.

Ironically, if you have to pay through the nose for hospital care, your insurance will cover the cost of sinus treatments.

Age, cholesterol, hypertension, diabetes have all taken their toll on your heart, but the primary damage was done by an ex-girlfriend 60 years ago.

My wife says I need a face lift, but I'm afraid it will make me look weird.

Let me know when I get healthy, so I can stop eating vegetables.

Many women fear the word menopause, so I prefer to call it Puberty, Part II.

Procrastinators live longer. When my time comes, I'll just put it off until later.

The x-rays confirm my diagnosis. You have a twisted sense of humor.

Follow every word of advice from every medical expert on TV, radio, books, magazines and the Internet. That should fix whatever you have.

I think today is Wednesday, but I'll need to run some tests to be sure.

When you got caught in the tornado, it twirled your blood sugar into cotton candy.

Follow every word of advice from every medical expert on TV, radio, books, magazines and the Internet. That should fix whatever you have.

I think today is Wednesday, but I'll need to run some tests to be sure.

I got in touch with my inner child. He keeps asking me for money.

A comfortable recliner can help you relax before bed. I also suggest you get a decaffinated coffee table.

I didn't know I was pregnant. My office is such a stressful place to work, everyone feels nauseous in the morning!

I respect that you're a vegetarian, but I can't authorize using an artichoke heart for your transplant.

I can prescribe medical marijuana, but your insurance won't pay for the Bob Marley CDs.

We've consulted all of the medical experts. Our next option is to confer with celebrities.

Of course we're a good hospital! Could we charge $500 for an aspirin if we weren't?

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