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Assorted Medical, Health, Doctor and Hospital Cartoons

I don't need to live a long healthy life. My retirement money runs out at age 67.
There was a tunnel and a bright light. My grandparents, Uncle Lenny, my dog Shep, my tonsils, appendix and all of my missing socks were there to greet me.
You didn't make people feel guilty about the flu epidemic. You didn't make people feel guilty about the measles epidemic. Why are you making me feel guilty about the obesity epidemic?
Fat is a protective barrier between my vital organs and all of the dangerous germs and viruses in the world!
You have Jethro Tull Syndrome. Too old to rock and roll, too young to die.
Don't talk to me about exercise. I swam every day for nine months and still I was born with cubby thighs!
I'm writing you a prescription: Be happy and feel good 3 times daily.
At your age, good health is pretty much a thing of the past. My advice is, find an illness you enjoy.
Since my divorce, I'm just an empty shell of a man. I know...I can hear the ocean.
I'm prescribing a patch to help you quit smoking. Wear it over your mouth.
Yes, herbal remedies can be expensive. No, drinking herbal shampoo won't have the same effect.
I'm prescribing an exercise program for your depression: stand up, walk across the room, turn off the news, repeat daily.
My wife says I don't have a romantic bone in my body. I'd like a second opinion.
Our lawyer says we can't remove the tumor until it's had a fair trial and been found guilty by an impartial jury.
You need to watch your diet. One of your arteries is blocked by a slice of pizza.
Your new hip and knee replacements come with a remote control app for Tap, Waltz, Foxtrot, Cha-cha, Jitterbug, Texas Two Step, Irish Folk Dance and Disco.
You got salmonella from a half-baked idea.
My wife says I don't have a romantic bone in my body. I'd like a second opinion.
I have a question about my medication. Why is the couple in the commercial sitting outdoors in separate bathtubs?
Our hospital has the very best technology. I'll be using GPS to locate your appendix.
toon-12150

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