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Dating & Romance

I can't afford an engagement ring. How about an engagement ringtone?
Joining a fraternity was the smartest thing I ever did. I'll graduate with $50,000 in student loan debt and $100,000 worth of returnable beer bottles and cans.
I've had my face lifted more than 500 times. I'm an airline pilot.
She broke your heart into a million pieces. Fortunatey, we have a surgeon who's great with duct tape.
The little red heart next to some menu items means the chef has a crush on you.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. My dermatologist says we should break up.
Candlelight dinners aren't very romantic. Every time I lean over to kiss you, my nose hair catches on fire.
Technically, I'm not really married. During the wedding ceremoney, I said eye dew.
Ever since my girlfriend moved to Alaska, she seems cold and distant.
When you find the woman of your dreams, announce your love to everyone you meet, shout it from the rooftop and sing her praises to the sky...until you're too hoarse to say marry me.
When you find the woman of your dreams, announce your love to everyone you meet, shout it from the rooftop and sing her praises to the sky...until you're too hoarse to say marry me.
Bite my neck, drain my blood and be the master of my immortal soul for eternity? Sorry, I don't go that far on a first date.
I need love and companionship. I was going to get a dog, buy you're already house trained.
I would climb the highest mountain and swim the deepest ocean to win your love, buy my lawyer says I should get the terms in writing first.
We played footsie under the table all night and I beat you by 23 points. That means you have to pay for dinner!
I took you to an expensive restaurant and you ate like a bird. Tonight we're eating here!
It's for a first date. What kind of wine goes with gum and breath mints?
I met a sweet old fashioned girl. She still uses AOL and MySpace.
By the time a man and woman get to their third date, a man has certain expectations at the end of the evening. I expect you to pay for dinner this time.
If we break up, we get heartache, tears, weight gain and misery. If we get married, we get new appliances, fancy china, a huge party and a honeymoon cruise. Which sounds better to you?
When I fell in love, I turn into a complete idiot. Is stupidity a sexually transmitted disease?

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