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Success / Achievement

If at first you don't succeed, change your definition of success.
All I know is, I weighed 148 pounds before my boss sent me to a personal growth seminar!
Follow your Dreams! It's supposed to inspire, but most employees see it as permission to take a nap.
I wrote a book How to Guarantee Success Every Time but it was a flop.
The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People
This is my final offer: $125,000 a year, full stock and benefits package, my baseball card collection, and you get to punch me in the arm as hard as you can.
Dave usually gets the Sales Person of the Month award, but this month I got it. He sold it to me.
I might be a workaholic. Sometimes I sprinkle toner on my toast instead of cinnamon.
I think I can, I think I can, puffed the little train...until he came to the sad realization that success and achievement are no longer valued or respected by much of modern society.
Is this the coroner's office? I'd like to order an autopsy to find out what killed my ambition, enthusiasm and hope for a brighter tomorrow.
Of course I give money to those who are less fortunate than me! My limo driver is less fortunate than me, the crew of my yacht is less fortunate than me, my private jet pilot is less than fortunate than me, my personal chef is less fortunate than me....
Great leaders are not born, they are made. Which explains why so many have a screw loose.
If I give you a raise, you'll spend more money. If you spend more money, it will strengthen the economy. If the economy gets stronger, I can hire more people. If I hire more people, one of them might turn out to be an idiot who bankrupts my company. That's why I can't give you a raise!
Opportunity texted me, tweeted me, linked to me, friended me, blogged me and spammed me. I was expecting it to knock!
I took 15 minutes to stop and smell the roses. When I came back, my wife was gone, my kids were in jail, my business was bankrupt and all of my plants were dead.
I've been listening to your motivational programs while you're at work and I've decided to become a Great Dane!
May I have a copy of my performance review? My mom still gives me $5 for a good report card.
Every day at work, I swim with the sharks, run with the wolves and fly with the eagles –– but I'm still 30 pounds overweight!?
When you spend $800 for a smart watch, you don't want to hide it under your sleeve!
I've been promoted to Executive Director of Sticky Note Management and Distribution.
I've been promoted to Executive Director of Personal Energy Management Resources. I'm in charge of coffee and doughnuts.

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