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Office Cartoons

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I'm leaving early today to have my cat spayed. While I'm gone, select 9 people to be Employee of the Month and reward each of them with a kitten.
You have reached Puss-Puss, the office cat. I'm napping right now, but leave a message and I will stop by to knock something off your desk as soon as possible.
Nobody attended the Effective Communications Seminar. They didn't understand the invitation.
I'm Meeting Man. My superpower is the ability to keep people awake during PowerPoints!
This is my final offer: $125,000 a year, full stock and benefits package, my baseball card collection, and you get to punch me in the arm as hard as you can.
I might be a workaholic. Sometimes I sprinkle toner on my toast instead of cinnamon.
Crashing is an expression of hostility against your network administrator. Though you appear to be uncooperative, it's actually a desperate cry for help.
Your insurance provides coverage for catastrophic events -- but a bad haircut doesn't qualify.
I understand how HR thinks, but was it really necessary to replace our coffee with diversitea?
Which weather app are you using? Mine is forecasting a plague of locusts and scattered showers of fire and brimstone.
We interrupt sounds of the ocean for this special news bulletin: Back at the office, everyone is getting along just fine without you!
This call may be monitored or recorded or ignored or ridiculed or forgotten or mocked or played at our office parties for laughs.
I completed my report on how to waste less paper and electricity in the office. I sent it to you telepathically.
My keyboard doesn't work, my shredder is jammed, my monitor has gone dark and I'm missing a wheel from my chair. Does my cubicle qualify for disability benefits?
The word 'invoice' is too soft and friendly. We need a new word that means 'pay up or die'.
To help you enjoy summer, I'm giving you every-other-minute off
It's a special hearing aid. It filters out criticism and amplifies compliments.
She was on vacation for three weeks, but burned up on re-entry.
I don't bring my work phone on vacation. If it's an emergency, call my shell.
We've updated our healthcare plan. If you get sick, we'll send you a Get Well card. If the card doesn't make you feel better, you can sue the card company to pay for your hospital bills.

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