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Images tagged "funny-marriage-quotes"

When you
When you\'ve been married a long time, you get to know what the other person thinks. No, you don\'t.
When you\'ve been married a long time, you get to know what the other person thinks. No, you don\'t.
When you\'ve been married a long time, you get to know what the other person thinks. No, you don\'t.
For our anniversary, I\'d like to have you upholstered to match the furniture.
How many times has a girlfriend broken your heart, kicked it to the curb or run it through a meat grinder?
I would climb the highest mountain and swim the depest ocean to win your love, but my lawyer says I should get the terms in writing first.
According to the prenup, she gets all of your money and everything you own if you leave the toilet seat up.
Tell her you like long walks in the country and snuggling on the sofa, but don't mention anything about drinking from the toilet.
Phil and Edna, married 45 years and still haven\'t run out of interesting things to talk about...no Ed McMahon was Johnny Carson\'s sidekick. Egg McMuffin is a breakfast food.
I can\'t think of anything interesting to talk about. I\'m so boring! She must hate me. A man who actually listens to me! I think I\'m in love!
Of course I believe in marriage, Mom. Most of the men I date are married.
We got married because people don\'t give you gifts for breaking up.
I want a husband I can rent from Netflix and stream to my laptop, game console, set-top box or mobile device.
All day long, I have to be polite to my boss, coworkers and customers. If you really love me, you'll let me be rude to you!
What\'s the point of arguing if nobody keeps score and the winner doesn\'t get a trophy?!
Chasing the ice cream truck does not count a s a summer fitness program.
If love makes the world go around, then the friction from our relationship may be slowing down the rotation of the planet and could be the cause of all this global warming!
I have to work late again, but don't worry –– I outsourced our love life to a couple in India.
I signed up for the Understanding Relationships class and enrolled you in Romance for Dummies.
The FDA has classified compliments as an essential nutrient.

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