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Cholesterol is good for you. It blocks your arteries, making it more difficult for germs and viruses to reach your vital organs.
The 4 basic food groups are things my doctor won't let me eat, things my wife won't let me eat, things my heartburn won't let me eat and things my teeth won't let me eat.
A recent study reveals that the human race is simply evolving into a larger species. Feel free to eat anything you want.
One diet doctor told me to eat more fruit, nuts and grains. Another told me to eat more meat, fish and cheese. Long story short, I gained 40 pounds!
We need to put some healthier stuff in the office kitchen. Which foods are good for strengthening brittle egos?
I hide my cat's pill in a little piece of cheese. That's also how I get my husband to eat peas and lima beans.
Heads, fat is bad and carbs are good. Tails, fat is good and carbs are bad.
You can't outsource diabetes.
The Mediterranean Diet is supposed to be very healthy. Can you write me a prescription for a vacation in Greece?
Bicycling is a great way to lose weight. Swallowing bugs for an hour will spoil your appetite.
The good news, it's OK to eat butter after all. The bad news, it's not OK to eat any of the things you like to put butter on.
You told me to eat 5 fruits and vegetables every day. Today I had 3 raisins and 2 peas.
Healthy food is expensive. Can you write me a prescription for groceries?
You don't make patients feel guilty about cancer. You don't make patients feel guilty about Parkinson's. You don't make patients feel guilty about Alzheimer's. Why are you making me feel guilty about diabetes?
Heads, I eat what I like and hate myself. Tails, I eat what I hate and like myself.
There's a thin person inside me screaming to get out. No, wait –– he's yelling for me to order a pizza!
If a bird is mean to fly, it flies! If a fish is mean to swim, it swims! If I were meant to lose weight...
I'm on the Copycat Diet. I follow my doctor to lunch and order whatever he's having.
If I gain 10 pounds, I'll have the incentive I need to stick to my diet.
I'd like you to eat more fruit and vegetables, but they're not covered by your health insurance plan.
You told me to eat more fish, but my weight stays the same no matter how many anchovies I put on my pizza!

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