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Women’s Health

I'd like to sign up for your home security service -- something to keep the Wrinkle Fairy from sneaking in while I sleep!
Many women fear the word menopause, so I prefer to call it Puberty, Part II.
Your grandmother says hello and yours tonsils and appendix want you to know they're fine.
Are you sexually active or are you married?
A comfortable recliner can help you relax before bed. I also suggest you get a decaffinated coffee table.
You didn't make people feel guilty about the flu epidemic. You didn't make people feel guilty about the measles epidemic. Why are you making me feel guilty about the obesity epidemic?
I'd like to try an experimental treatment for PMS. I'm going to replace your blood with chocolate syrup.
Running is bad for my knees. Not running is bad for everything else!
Hormone replacement therapy will make you feel much better. I'm replacing your hormones with rainbows, sunshine and glitter.
No need to treat my depression. I only get depressed when I'm talking with you!
toon-12162
I'm supposed to to eat kale for smoother skin, turkey for stronger nails, fish for thinner thighs, oats for cardiovascular benefits, cabbage for leaner abdominals, salmon for softer hair, beets for a healthier colon, steak for muscle tone, blueberries for lower cholesterol, pasta for greater endurance, cheese for younger teeth and bones....
I'm a wife, a mother, a daughter, an executive, a cook, a housekeeper, a teacher, a chauffeur and a soccer coach. That's only 19 pounds per woman!
You have all kinds of amazing things in your utility belt...but no condoms?!?
It's not easy fitting 60 minutes of exercise into my busy schedule. Today I took 360 ten-second walks.
Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherburne, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707. E-MAIL: randy@glasbergen.com Entertainment
Many women fear the word 'menopause' so I prefer to call it Puberty, Part II.
Your online profile said you're into gambling, so I assumed I wouldn't have to wear a condom!
You devote 50% of your energy to your career, 50% to your children and 50% to your marriage. I think I see the problem...
My daughter wants everything she sees advertised on TV. Yesterday she asked me to buy her a yeast infection.
Having nine lives is cool, but if I have to go through menopause again, forget it!

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