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Weight Loss / Dieting / Healthy Eating

I'm incognito. I lost 20 pounds and I don't want it to find me again!
My body is apple-shaped and yours is pear-shaped. How can we be unhealthy if we look like a fresh fruit salad?
If you are not completely satisfied with our amazing weight-loss formula, just return the unused portion of our product and we'll return the unused portion of your money!

The people at work are trying to sabotage my diet. Today my boss made me look at pie charts!
How many times should I push the elevator buttons to equal the same calories as taking the stairs?
A chocolate brownie looks sort of like a giant crouton, so it's almost a salad!

Office Food Pyramid
There was a time when I had to actually EAT the chocolate before it went straight to my hips!
Our low-carb pizza is three pounds of cheese, sausage, meatballs and pepperoni piled high on a Fat Head pizza crust.

I'm so sorry to hear that your diet died. I made a lasagna for the memorial service.
There's a thin person inside me, screaming to get out. Can you prescribe something to sedate her so I can hear my TV programs?
Cholesterol is a good thing. It helps your arteries from collapsing when you've got the weight of the world coming down on you!

I found an appetite suppressant that actually works. It's called FOOD!
I can't change my height. I can't change my eye color. I can't change the size of my feet. What makes you thing I can change my weight?
You are one with the universe and the universe is expanding. So don't feel guilty about needing bigger pants!

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