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Mental Health

I got in touch with my inner child. He keeps asking me for money.
No, I don't think you're crazy. Like most of us, you're just a victim of bad programming.
I found my purpose in life, my misplaced values, and my inner-child! It is a very sophisticated search engine!
Sometimes I sleep eighteen hours a day. That may indicate that I am suffering from acute, clinical depression or it may indicate that I am a cat.
I installed a GPS app on your phone. Use it to find a magical land where the world still makes sense.
Shut off your celll phone, GPS and Bluetooth headset, then let me know if you still hear the voices.
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You're allowed one small carry-on, but each additional piece of emotional baggage is an extra $10.
Let a smile be your umbrella from the storm, but wear nose plugs
Family dinner with a grouchy husband, loud kids and a barking dog. It's a very common eating disorder.
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It's a special hearing aid. It filters out criticism and amplifies compliments.
I found a good job for the summer. I'm a grief counselor in a swimsuit store.
I'm ordering a transfusion. We'll replace your B-negative blood with B-positive and see if that improves your mood.
I'm very, very happy. But I want to be very, very, very happy. And that's why I'm miserable.
I wasted all day today worrying about the yesterday that nobody will remember tomorrow.

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