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Mental Health

You're allowed one small carry-on, but each additional piece of emotional baggage is an extra $10.
Let a smile be your umbrella from the storm, but wear nose plugs
Family dinner with a grouchy husband, loud kids and a barking dog. It's a very common eating disorder.

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It's a special hearing aid. It filters out criticism and amplifies compliments.
I found a good job for the summer. I'm a grief counselor in a swimsuit store.
I'm ordering a transfusion. We'll replace your B-negative blood with B-positive and see if that improves your mood.

Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherburne, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707 E-MAIL: randy@glasbergen.com Sports
I wasted all day today worrying about the yesterday that nobody will remember tomorrow.
I only watch the History Channel. Their news is less depressing because I know we already survived it.

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This Week’s Cartoons

If at first you don't succeed, eat something then take a nap. Muffin Jackson set a new world's record today, jumping from the floor to the table to the counter to the top of the refrigerator in just 7.3 seconds. Congratulations, Muffin! I'm looking for a compression program that will help me fit a Rottweiler into a Federal Express envelope. First I whimper, then I show them my big, brown, sad eyes. It works every time. My presentation lacks power and has no point. I assumed the software would take care of that! I've got 8 hours invested in this bad mood and I'm not giving up that easily! I have a big pile of mice and birds saved under the porch. I need to rool them over into an IRA.

© Randy Glasbergen. All of the cartoons featured on this site are copyrighted material. Any unauthorized usage is prohibited and illegal. | (2000)