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Medical Technology

It's an exciting new drug that markedly reduces the amount of glucose, cholesterol, and stupidity produced by the liver.
I recommend hip replacement surgery for older men who aren't as hip as they used to be.
I already diagnosed myself on the Internet. I either have three left kidneys, recurring puberty or Dutch Elm disease.
The doctor will be in shortly to type on the computer and update your chart. If he has time, he will ask how you're feeling and take a look at your rash.
Good news –– they just developed an artificial heart that runs on cholesterol.
I'm sorry, the computer made an error. You're not influential, you have influenza.
Who picked 'I've Got You Under My Skin' to be our on-hold music?
I already diagnosed myself on the Internet. I'm only here for a second opinion.
Our hospital has the very best technology. I'll be using GPS to locate your appendix.
The first human was cloned in 2002. When he found out, he was beside himself.
Can we buy a 3D printer so you and Mom can make a baby?
We can get a discount on our health insurance if we list Google as our primary care physician.
The blood test shows that your media levels are low. Are you watching enough television?
You have a song in your heart. With today's digital technology, you can actually fit 10,000 songs in your heart.
They regrew your hair with stem cells?
Your X-ray showed a broken rib, but we fixed it with Photoshop.
I hear reggae rhythms, disco drums, thumping hip-hop, toe-tapping western swing and 80's techno beats. I think your pacemaker is stuck on 'shuffle'.
I respect that you're a vegetarian, but I can't authorize using an artichoke heart for your transplant.
I looked up your symptoms on Google. If you want a second opinion, I can check Yahoo.
I ran all of your symptoms through the computer and now the computer is sick too.
Doctor and physician are outdated terms. I'm your biological tech support specialist.

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