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Medical Technology

I recommend hip replacement surgery for older men who aren\'t as hip as they used to be.
I already diagnosed myself on the Internet. I either have three left kidneys, recurring puberty or Dutch Elm disease.
The doctor will be in shortly to type on the computer and update your chart. If he has time, he will ask how you\'re feeling and take a look at your rash.

Good news –– they just developed an artificial heart that runs on cholesterol.
I'm sorry, the computer made an error. You're not influential, you have influenza.
Who picked \'I\'ve Got You Under My Skin\' to be our on-hold music?

I already diagnosed myself on the Internet. I\'m only here for a second opinion.
Our hospital has the very best technology. I'll be using GPS to locate your appendix.
The first human was cloned in 2002. When he found out, he was beside himself.

Can we buy a 3D printer so you and Mom can make a baby?
We can get a discount on our health insurance if we list Google as our primary care physician.
The blood test shows that your media levels are low. Are you watching enough television?

You have a song in your heart. With today\'s digital technology, you can actually fit 10,000 songs in your heart.
They regrew your hair with stem cells?
Your X-ray showed a broken rib, but we fixed it with Photoshop.

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This Week’s Cartoons

The Politician's Lunch is a pork sandwich and we send the bill to your grandchildren. The government is providing free college education for everyone. It will be paid for by a new beer and pizza tax. Everywhere I go, people are eager to shake my hand and shower me with compliments. With that kind of charisma, I'd be crazy not to run for office! The government sent us a check. We've failed so many diets, our kitchen qualifies as a disaster area! toon_13 Facebook friends are better than real friends. Nobody on Facebook has bad breath! Is there a GPS app that can help my husband find a faster route to the dishwasher and vacuum cleaner?

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