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Low Carb Diets

No, I can't tell you the meaning of life. I only came up here to avoid the carbs!
codo23
A low-carb diet is bad for you. One of my patients slipped on some bacon grease and broke her leg!

There's a thin person inside me screaming to get out. No, wait –– he's yelling for me to order a pizza!
The Mind Blowing Italian Feast Platter comes with your choice of guilt, regret or defiance.
Inside me, there's a skinny person screaming to get out. No wait, she's yelling at me to order a pizza!

The good news, it's OK to eat butter after all. The bad news, it's not OK to eat any of the things you like to put butter on.
Heads, fat is bad and carbs are good. Tails, fat is good and carbs are bad.
Too bad it was a typo. I was doing pretty well on the low-crab diet!

One diet doctor told me to eat more fruit, nuts and grains. Another told me to eat more meat, fish and cheese. Long story short, I gained 40 pounds!
The high-carb diet I put you on 20 years ago gave you diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease. Oops.
On this diet, you can eat all the steak you want, but a slice of bread will kill you. On this other diet, you can eat all the bread you want, but a steak will kill you.

A chocolate brownie looks sort of like a giant crouton, so it's almost a salad!
A hot fudge sundae counts as a salad if you replace the cherry with a crouton.
I don't approve of low-carb, high-carb, fat-free, organic, macrobiotic, vegetarian or vegan. Frankly, I don't approve of food.

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This Week’s Cartoons

If at first you don't succeed, eat something then take a nap. Muffin Jackson set a new world's record today, jumping from the floor to the table to the counter to the top of the refrigerator in just 7.3 seconds. Congratulations, Muffin! I'm looking for a compression program that will help me fit a Rottweiler into a Federal Express envelope. First I whimper, then I show them my big, brown, sad eyes. It works every time. My presentation lacks power and has no point. I assumed the software would take care of that! I've got 8 hours invested in this bad mood and I'm not giving up that easily! I have a big pile of mice and birds saved under the porch. I need to rool them over into an IRA.

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