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Hospital Cartoons

You\'re right, $500 for an aspirin is outrageous. It\'s supposed to be $5,000!
Your new pacemaker comes with Pandora so you can always have a song in your heart.
Your doctor ordered some tests. If you pass, you get to go home. If you fail, you\'ll have to repeat 9th grade.

Any pain today, not cause by the government, greedy corporations, annoying celebrities or society in general?
Your body isn\'t responding to traditional medicine, so we\'re bringing in an attorney to sue the virus.
If you are not 100% satisfied with your surgery, the defective organ will be cheerfully refunded.

Good news –– they just developed an artificial heart that runs on cholesterol.
Of course hospital food is terrible. You can\'t expect to eat like a king on $5,000 a day!
After we repair your wazoo, I suggest you find a better tax guy.

Our hospital has the very best technology. I'll be using GPS to locate your appendix.
You are a very, very sick man. Ask your family to pray for your insurance company.
My employer is paying for the surgery. I\'m having a speed bump installed between my brain and my mouth.

Two hours in our waiting room with a bunch of coughing people and screaming children. That was your stress test.
You have Jethro Tull syndrome. Too old to rock and roll, too young to die.
There was a tunnel and a bright light. My grandparents, Uncle Lenny, my dog Shep, my tonsils, appendix and all of my missing socks were there to greet me.

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This Week’s Cartoons

The Politician's Lunch is a pork sandwich and we send the bill to your grandchildren. The government is providing free college education for everyone. It will be paid for by a new beer and pizza tax. Everywhere I go, people are eager to shake my hand and shower me with compliments. With that kind of charisma, I'd be crazy not to run for office! The government sent us a check. We've failed so many diets, our kitchen qualifies as a disaster area! toon_13 Facebook friends are better than real friends. Nobody on Facebook has bad breath! Is there a GPS app that can help my husband find a faster route to the dishwasher and vacuum cleaner?

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