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Hospital Cartoons

You\'re right, $500 for an aspirin is outrageous. It\'s supposed to be $5,000!
Your new pacemaker comes with Pandora so you can always have a song in your heart.
Your doctor ordered some tests. If you pass, you get to go home. If you fail, you\'ll have to repeat 9th grade.

Any pain today, not cause by the government, greedy corporations, annoying celebrities or society in general?
Your body isn\'t responding to traditional medicine, so we\'re bringing in an attorney to sue the virus.
If you are not 100% satisfied with your surgery, the defective organ will be cheerfully refunded.

Good news –– they just developed an artificial heart that runs on cholesterol.
Of course hospital food is terrible. You can\'t expect to eat like a king on $5,000 a day!
After we repair your wazoo, I suggest you find a better tax guy.

Our hospital has the very best technology. I'll be using GPS to locate your appendix.
You are a very, very sick man. Ask your family to pray for your insurance company.
My employer is paying for the surgery. I\'m having a speed bump installed between my brain and my mouth.

Two hours in our waiting room with a bunch of coughing people and screaming children. That was your stress test.
You have Jethro Tull syndrome. Too old to rock and roll, too young to die.
There was a tunnel and a bright light. My grandparents, Uncle Lenny, my dog Shep, my tonsils, appendix and all of my missing socks were there to greet me.

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This Week’s Cartoons

If at first you don't succeed, eat something then take a nap. Muffin Jackson set a new world's record today, jumping from the floor to the table to the counter to the top of the refrigerator in just 7.3 seconds. Congratulations, Muffin! I'm looking for a compression program that will help me fit a Rottweiler into a Federal Express envelope. First I whimper, then I show them my big, brown, sad eyes. It works every time. My presentation lacks power and has no point. I assumed the software would take care of that! I've got 8 hours invested in this bad mood and I'm not giving up that easily! I have a big pile of mice and birds saved under the porch. I need to rool them over into an IRA.

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