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Workers with Disabilities

My keyboard doesn't work, my shredder is jammed, my monitor has gone dark and I'm missing a wheel from my chair. Does my cubicle qualify for disability benefits?
It's a special hearing aid. It filters out criticism and amplifies compliments.
Of course we employ people with disabilities! Dan can't make a decision, Tina is a chronic whiner, Zack can't stop talking, Kathy has no sense of humor, Tim can't sell....
If FDR could win World War II in a wheelchair, I'm sure I can win a price war for our sales team!
I know what it's like to be a handicapped cripple. I was born without the ability to stop myself from saying inappropriate things.
Do you have any idea what it will cost to make my office wheelchair accessible?!?
We do our best to accommodate special needs employees...but you don't get reimbursed for mileage.
I was on workers comp for 18 months to recover from a job injury. After that, I had to go to rehab to cure my addition to daytime TV.
If you keep your head in the clouds, your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars while you roll with the flow, eventually you'll need to see a chiropractor.
I have a note from my doctor. I'm allergic to criticism!
I wear two hearing aids. One helps me hear what you say and the other helps me hear what you mean.
We're looking for someone who can fly with the eagles, swim with the sharks and run with the wolves...
I'm not disabled or differently-abled or specially-abled or exceptionally-abled. I'm an accountant in a wheelchair.
No, Bob isn't hearing impaired. Bob is listening impaired.
The government says we need to replace our corporate ladder with a ramp.

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