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Safety At Work

I'm sorry, but we don't allow laptop computers on board. The cursor can be used as a weapon.

saftey2

I'm just burying a bone, but it's important to wear the proper safety gear for any job!

Do you have any idea what it will cost to make my office wheelchair accessible?!?

Neat Document-"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. But many ofhis coworkers suspect he did it intentionally justto get time off and coll Entertainment

I was on workers comp for 18 months to recover from a job injury. After that, I had to go to rehab to cure my addition to daytime TV.

Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherburne, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707. E-MAIL: randyaglasbergen.com Technology

If I get a paper cut while filling out my disability forms, do I get extra time off?

Tommy got hurt when I poked him in the behind with a forklift, but it wasn't my fault. Nobody put up a safety poster telling us not to do that!

I'm afraid we have to let you go. According to official safety guidelines, your sarcasm is classified as a dangerous weapon.

Government guidelines require you to wear a hardhat during your performance review to minimize the likelihood of any injury to your career or ego.

We need to install better virus software. Another computer just filed a disability claim!

Safety Gear Saves Lives! As long as it doesn't interfere with your work, it's OK with me.

To prevent eye strain, it is important not to sit too close to the computer screen or try to lift anything heavy with your eyes.

Corporate needs to establish emergency measures in the event of a toxic gas leak...or if someone in the office wears too much perfume or cologne!

I used to thumb my nose at safety regulations...until I lost my thumb in a workplace accident!

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, but he paid attention to his supervisor's workplace safety lectures, wore all the proper gear and nothing bad happened.

My office has initiated a zero-tolerance weapons policy. I was fired for having a sharp mind!

I'm sorry you got hurt on the job, but look at the bright side –– you've finally got enough time to read the safety manual!

There is nothing in the safety manual that says don't sit on the paper shredder!

I subscribe to the Intelligent Universe Theory which believes there is no such thing as an 'accident'.

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