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Personal Computers

I'm always afraid it's going to bite me.

Your operating system was installed on April 25th, which makes your computer a Taurus. As a Pisces, you're bound to have conflicts.

I called the technical support number and got dial-a prayer!

The usual stuff -- a new virus from the Joker, spyware from the Penguin, malicious code from Cat Woman, another phishing scheme from the Riddler.

The dating service finally found someone who meets all of my qualifications. Unfortunately, God doesn't have time for dating.

I guess I should do better with brushing and flossing. My teeth unfriended me on Facebook!

I checked the serial number of your laptop. It's a waffle iron.

Neat Receipt-Cash General Retail Non-deductible

Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherburne, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707. E-MAIL: randy@glasbergen.com Sports

I really enjoyed seeing your sonogram, Phil. Do you have a more recent photo you can send me before we meet?

When you spend $800 for a smart watch, you don't want to hide it under your sleeve!

Facebook friends are better than real friends. Nobody on Facebook has bad breath!

I had a pretty good day. For a little while, my computer and I were both functional at the same time.

...and you spent 6.35 years of your life deleting spam from your e-mail.

Neat Document-

You can probably claim them as dependents, but that will require obtaining a Social Security number for each and every flea.

Somebody used my credit card to sign up for an online foreign language course! Woof!

Everyone laughed and called me a fool, but I've spent the past 30 years watching my helium stocks go up!

I'm looking for a laptop that turns into a tablet that turns into an old-fashioned printed newspaper.

I stole your dog's identity over the Internet. What time do we eat?

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