Pay Raise / Promotions - Glasbergen Cartoon Service

$If I give you a raise, you\'ll spend more money. If you spend more money, it will strengthen the economy. If the economy gets stronger, I can hire more people. If I hire more people, one of them might turn out to be an idiot who bankrupts my company. That\'s why I can\'t give you a raise!$

$I\'ve been promoted to Executive Director of Personal Energy Management Resources. I\'m in charge of coffee and doughnuts.$

$We don\'t pay extra for overtime. If you work more than 8 hours a day, we figure you owe us a volume discount.$

$For 20 years, you\'ve been our most valuable intern. Isn\'t that better than being just another ordinary salaried employee?$

$I\'d like to give you a raise and promotion, but that wouldn\'t be fair to others who don\'t stay late or work as hard as you.$

$Insted of raising your pay, would you be okay if I just lowered everyone else\'s pay?$