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Management Cartoons

The best way to give criticism is to compliment someone. Then say NOT after they leave the room.
How come you never bring me any of your stupid ideas anymore?
Great leaders are not born, they are made. Which explains why so many have a screw loose.
I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Can you repeat everything you've said to me since you started working here?
My boss takes credit for every good thing I do. Rumor has it, he's going to be a mother soon.
If I give you a raise, you'll spend more money. If you spend more money, it will strengthen the economy. If the economy gets stronger, I can hire more people. If I hire more people, one of them might turn out to be an idiot who bankrupts my company. That's why I can't give you a raise!
How to increase productivity spend more time at your work space and less time at productivity seminars get back to work!
I took 15 minutes to stop and smell the roses. When I came back, my wife was gone, my kids were in jail, my business was bankrupt and all of my plants were dead.
Your office has a critical morale problem. My advice is to go from desk to desk licking people's faces.
I'd like to apologize for asking you to step outside of your comfort zone.
If the Queen Bee concept catches on, I will consider you for a full-time leadership position.
Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherbume, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707. E-MAIL: randy@glasbergen.com Entertainment
We don't pay extra for overtime. If you work more than 8 hours a day, we figure you owe us a volume discount.
I reward my staff with doughnuts because tossing them a fish would be too obvious.
You were my imaginary friend and we had some great times. But I haven't heard from you since I was five years old and now you show up and expect me to give you a job?
There is always room for improvement. It's a small room with no windows or distractions. We already moved your things.
I'd like to give you a raise and promotion, but that wouldn't be fair to others who don't stay late or work as hard as you.
I can't believe my boss is such an idiot. I thought he was brilliant when he hired me!
Like any workplace, we have our share of disputes, personality conflicts and bad behavior. Ideally, we're looking for an office manager with previous experience running a daycare.
Good news –– our Kickstarter campaign has raised $2.13 toward your bonus.
My assistant tells me you're not a happy camper. During your lunch break, why don't you make some S'mores?

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