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Global Warming and Going Green

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I completed my report on how to waste less paper and electricity in the office. I sent it to you telepathically.
Neat Document-

I understand the importance of green technology, but explain to me again why we need solar-powered paperclips.
We're a green company. I like the part where you describe yourself as biodegradable, organic and locally grown.
The first little pig built his house from straw and qualified for a green energy tax credit.

When water evaporates, it cools the air and helps prevent global warming. That's why I leave the seat up!
I found an alternative-fuel vehicle that runs on fat instead of gasoline! Oh wait, it's a bicycle.
Are you sure we're not supposed to recycle chewing gum?

The county says you're not allowed to throw your back out. You have to recycle it.
Our sales this quarter don't add up to a hill of beans, which is just as well since beans cause gas and that would open us up to a whole new series of environmental regulations.
I need to reach whatever is buried deep in your psyche. I hope you're not opposed to fracking.

And when you're done thinking outside of the box, remember to put the box in the proper recycling bin.
Because my generation cares about the planet!
When Kelly comes into work every morning, her smile lights up the whole office. Find out if that gets us a green energy tax credit.

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