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Economics / Economy

Your mother and I need more time to save for your college education. We'd like you to go back to Kindergarten and start over.
The stock market fell sharply today, then bounced back, spiraled upward, jumped forward, leaped to new heights, tumbled rapidly and took first place in a gymnastics competition.
Of course I give money to those who are less fortunate than me! My limo driver is less fortunate than me, the crew of my yacht is less fortunate than me, my private jet pilot is less than fortunate than me, my personal chef is less fortunate than me....

The bad news is, the market threw a wrench into your retirement plans. The good news is, you can probably sell the wrench for $10 on eBay!
If I give you a raise, you'll spend more money. If you spend more money, it will strengthen the economy. If the economy gets stronger, I can hire more people. If I hire more people, one of them might turn out to be an idiot who bankrupts my company. That's why I can't give you a raise!
Our investors lack confidence. My fern died and our stock fell 27 points.

Your grandmother sent you $5 for your birthday. Put it in the bank for a very long time and someday it will be worth $2.
In an effort to rescue the economy, Superman spent $500 at the mall today...
You can criticize my weight all you want, but I know for a fact that the middle class is shrinking!

Economics 101 Lesson 1: Don't spend more than you earn. Lesson 2: Don't spend more than you earn...
I've already forgotten most of the stuff I learned in college. Can I just pay for the parts I still remember?
Neat Document-Randy Glosbergen, R.O. Box 797, Sherburne, N.Y. 13460 Phone 607-316-4707. E-MAR. randy@glasbergen.com Entertainment

Neat Receipt-Non-deductible
You still owe $12,000 in student loans from a past life.
I work 80 hours a week and you work 90 hours a week --- but we earn too much to be classified as a 'working family'.

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This Week’s Cartoons

I'm giving you #10 a week allowance. After I deduct part for taxes, your college, your children's college and your retirement, you get to keep 25 cents. Teamwork is vital to the company, Steve. But the rest of us don't think shirts vs. skins is a good idea. We have to stay ahead of our competition. If they lose six million dollars next quarter, then we have to lose seven million! Thank you for calling the Motivation Hotline. If you need a pat on the back, press 1. On Wall Street today, the Dow and Nasdaq did their little dance and everyone pretended that it was very important. My hobbies are drag racing, world-tour golf, extreme football, flying jets, and kickboxing. On my computer, of course. Can't we just talk without you dissecting every word?

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