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Economics / Economy

Your mother and I need more time to save for your college education. We'd like you to go back to Kindergarten and start over.
The stock market fell sharply today, then bounced back, spiraled upward, jumped forward, leaped to new heights, tumbled rapidly and took first place in a gymnastics competition.
Of course I give money to those who are less fortunate than me! My limo driver is less fortunate than me, the crew of my yacht is less fortunate than me, my private jet pilot is less than fortunate than me, my personal chef is less fortunate than me....

The bad news is, the market threw a wrench into your retirement plans. The good news is, you can probably sell the wrench for $10 on eBay!
If I give you a raise, you'll spend more money. If you spend more money, it will strengthen the economy. If the economy gets stronger, I can hire more people. If I hire more people, one of them might turn out to be an idiot who bankrupts my company. That's why I can't give you a raise!
Our investors lack confidence. My fern died and our stock fell 27 points.

Your grandmother sent you $5 for your birthday. Put it in the bank for a very long time and someday it will be worth $2.
In an effort to rescue the economy, Superman spent $500 at the mall today...
You can criticize my weight all you want, but I know for a fact that the middle class is shrinking!

Economics 101 Lesson 1: Don't spend more than you earn. Lesson 2: Don't spend more than you earn...
I've already forgotten most of the stuff I learned in college. Can I just pay for the parts I still remember?
Neat Document-Randy Glosbergen, R.O. Box 797, Sherburne, N.Y. 13460 Phone 607-316-4707. E-MAR. randy@glasbergen.com Entertainment

Neat Receipt-Non-deductible
You still owe $12,000 in student loans from a past life.
I work 80 hours a week and you work 90 hours a week --- but we earn too much to be classified as a 'working family'.

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This Week’s Cartoons

If at first you don't succeed, eat something then take a nap. Muffin Jackson set a new world's record today, jumping from the floor to the table to the counter to the top of the refrigerator in just 7.3 seconds. Congratulations, Muffin! I'm looking for a compression program that will help me fit a Rottweiler into a Federal Express envelope. First I whimper, then I show them my big, brown, sad eyes. It works every time. My presentation lacks power and has no point. I assumed the software would take care of that! I've got 8 hours invested in this bad mood and I'm not giving up that easily! I have a big pile of mice and birds saved under the porch. I need to rool them over into an IRA.

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