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Dress For Success

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When you spend $800 for a smart watch, you don't want to hide it under your sleeve!

Until I start getting a paycheck, these are the nicest clothes I have for a job interview.
We're revising our dress code to encourage greater diversity. Who's your favorite Star Wars character?
It's a new fabric -- 40% wool, 60% digital.

Denim doesn't seem very businesslike, so on Casual Fridays I wear sticky notes!
It's a special necktie for people who don't want to get germs from shaking hands.
Wear this cologne to your next performance review. It smells like happy customers!

We used to have a casual dress code, but too many people mistook our office for a homeless shelter.
You wear a suit and tie to spend the day with people you hate, then come home and dress like a slob for the woman you love?
A necktie is basically a noose at one end and a spear at the other end. That's got to be a metaphor for something!

Sometimes I wear this in court. It's my frivolous law suit.
When you're trying to stay a step ahead of the competition, any advantage helps.
And this one is for my greatest achievement ––– raising a family and staying married for 40 years!, military cartoons, army, general, medals, achievement, marriage, married, anniversary.

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This Week’s Cartoons

In my office we celebrate innovation, we celebrate individuality, we celebrate excellence, and we celebrate idealism. Any excuse to party! Take one pill as needed for stress. Throw it over your cubicle and bounce it off the head of an annoying coworker. Cholesterol is a good thing. It helps your arteries from collapsing when you've got the weight of the world coming down on you! They found out what's wrong with my computer.The spell-checker is suffering from exhaustion." Technology Care for some freshly-ground antidepressants in your coffee? I'll probably spend my whole life following orders from somebody. Instead of college, maybe you should send me to Obedience School. We sat in a circle, we had a story, we sang some dopey songs. Is any of this going to look good on a resume?

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