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Dress For Success

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When you spend $800 for a smart watch, you don't want to hide it under your sleeve!

Until I start getting a paycheck, these are the nicest clothes I have for a job interview.
We're revising our dress code to encourage greater diversity. Who's your favorite Star Wars character?
It's a new fabric -- 40% wool, 60% digital.

Denim doesn't seem very businesslike, so on Casual Fridays I wear sticky notes!
It's a special necktie for people who don't want to get germs from shaking hands.
Wear this cologne to your next performance review. It smells like happy customers!

We used to have a casual dress code, but too many people mistook our office for a homeless shelter.
You wear a suit and tie to spend the day with people you hate, then come home and dress like a slob for the woman you love?
A necktie is basically a noose at one end and a spear at the other end. That's got to be a metaphor for something!

Sometimes I wear this in court. It's my frivolous law suit.
When you're trying to stay a step ahead of the competition, any advantage helps.
And this one is for my greatest achievement ––– raising a family and staying married for 40 years!, military cartoons, army, general, medals, achievement, marriage, married, anniversary.

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This Week’s Cartoons

Your pacemaker has plastic parts that can melt, so don't watch any heart-warming movies. Until we figure out why our computer is paying you sixty million dollars a week, I'll expect you to put in some overtime to justify the expenditure. Mr. Milton Bludklott, a very dedicated Biology teacher, has been dissected 237 times. Let's make a deal - If you don't join the cigar trend, I won't join the thong bikini trend! I hate to spoil your vacation, but it's time to start wearing the kind of trunks your dad wore. When the doctor told you to eat more fish, what he meant was eat fish more often. Fitness Experts say your muscles need plenty of rest between workouts. Your last workout was 17 years ago.

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