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Digital Lifestyle

Our local newspaper is moving to the internet. You must be pretty happy about that. What's a newspaper.
toon-1902
The usual stuff -- a new virus from the Joker, spyware from the Penguin, malicious code from Cat Woman, another phishing scheme from the Riddler.

My fitness watch counts my steps, calories, heart beats, reps and excuses.
The dating service finally found someone who meets all of my qualifications. Unfortunately, God doesn't have time for dating.
Which weather app are you using? Mine is forecasting a plague of locusts and scattered showers of fire and brimstone.

I don't bring my work phone on vacation. If it's an emergency, call my shell.
I guess I should do better with brushing and flossing. My teeth unfriended me on Facebook!
I don't need lightbulbs I can control with my phone. I need children I can control with my phone!

I'm not sure Mom and Dad are qualified to be parents. They're not on Angie's List.
Your new pacemaker comes with Pandora so you can always have a song in your heart.
Opportunity texted me, tweeted me, linked to me, friended me, blogged me and spammed me. I was expecting it to knock!

What cellphone service are you using? It sounds like you're talking under water!
Neat Receipt-Cash General Retail Non-deductible
What did you expect? You met me on Match.com!

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This Week’s Cartoons

I'm giving you #10 a week allowance. After I deduct part for taxes, your college, your children's college and your retirement, you get to keep 25 cents. Teamwork is vital to the company, Steve. But the rest of us don't think shirts vs. skins is a good idea. We have to stay ahead of our competition. If they lose six million dollars next quarter, then we have to lose seven million! Thank you for calling the Motivation Hotline. If you need a pat on the back, press 1. On Wall Street today, the Dow and Nasdaq did their little dance and everyone pretended that it was very important. My hobbies are drag racing, world-tour golf, extreme football, flying jets, and kickboxing. On my computer, of course. Can't we just talk without you dissecting every word?

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