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Digital Lifestyle

I just invented the one and the zero. Let the digital revolution begin!
Tonight's program will not be seen at its regular time because nobody watches programs at their regular time anymore.
Our local newspaper is moving to the internet. You must be pretty happy about that. What's a newspaper.

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The usual stuff -- a new virus from the Joker, spyware from the Penguin, malicious code from Cat Woman, another phishing scheme from the Riddler.
My fitness watch counts my steps, calories, heart beats, reps and excuses.

The dating service finally found someone who meets all of my qualifications. Unfortunately, God doesn't have time for dating.
Which weather app are you using? Mine is forecasting a plague of locusts and scattered showers of fire and brimstone.
I don't bring my work phone on vacation. If it's an emergency, call my shell.

I guess I should do better with brushing and flossing. My teeth unfriended me on Facebook!
I don't need lightbulbs I can control with my phone. I need children I can control with my phone!
I'm not sure Mom and Dad are qualified to be parents. They're not on Angie's List.

Your new pacemaker comes with Pandora so you can always have a song in your heart.
Opportunity texted me, tweeted me, linked to me, friended me, blogged me and spammed me. I was expecting it to knock!
What cellphone service are you using? It sounds like you're talking under water!

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