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Charts / Graphs

At this point, something hit the fan, but our code of corporate conduct prevents me from talking about it.
Obviously, our customers aren\'t trying hard enough!
Does anyone have a better idea?

We\'ve done a thorough analysis of our situation and have come to the only logical conclusion: The universe finds us amusing and keeps us around for laughs.
For this part, I credit hard work, ingenuity and determination. The other part, I blame on gravity.
And this is where we build up speed to help us climb the next hill.

Essentials of Risk Management: 1. Don't do anything wrong today. 2. Don't do anything wrong tomorrow. 3. Repeat.
Ignore the lifeboats in the parking lot. Everything is fine.
Care for some freshly-ground antidepressants in your coffee?

Display the sales projections with day-glo colors and a blacklight. It will give the illusion that our future is bright.
Nobody can accuse us of lying. The chart is lying.
Our sales this quarter don't add up to a hill of beans, which is just as well since beans cause gas and that would open us up to a whole new series of environmental regulations.

Our speech recognition software can't tell the difference between meritocracy and mediocrity. That's the first thing I'd fix.
We\'re seeing a significant drop in customer complaints since we stopped answering our phones.
When preparation and opportunity collide, it causes a seismic upheaval and that\'s how mountains of money are made!

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This Week’s Cartoons

I'm giving you #10 a week allowance. After I deduct part for taxes, your college, your children's college and your retirement, you get to keep 25 cents. Teamwork is vital to the company, Steve. But the rest of us don't think shirts vs. skins is a good idea. We have to stay ahead of our competition. If they lose six million dollars next quarter, then we have to lose seven million! Thank you for calling the Motivation Hotline. If you need a pat on the back, press 1. On Wall Street today, the Dow and Nasdaq did their little dance and everyone pretended that it was very important. My hobbies are drag racing, world-tour golf, extreme football, flying jets, and kickboxing. On my computer, of course. Can't we just talk without you dissecting every word?

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