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Charts / Graphs

At this point, something hit the fan, but our code of corporate conduct prevents me from talking about it.
Obviously, our customers aren\'t trying hard enough!
Does anyone have a better idea?

We\'ve done a thorough analysis of our situation and have come to the only logical conclusion: The universe finds us amusing and keeps us around for laughs.
For this part, I credit hard work, ingenuity and determination. The other part, I blame on gravity.
And this is where we build up speed to help us climb the next hill.

Essentials of Risk Management: 1. Don't do anything wrong today. 2. Don't do anything wrong tomorrow. 3. Repeat.
Ignore the lifeboats in the parking lot. Everything is fine.
Care for some freshly-ground antidepressants in your coffee?

Display the sales projections with day-glo colors and a blacklight. It will give the illusion that our future is bright.
Nobody can accuse us of lying. The chart is lying.
Our sales this quarter don't add up to a hill of beans, which is just as well since beans cause gas and that would open us up to a whole new series of environmental regulations.

Our speech recognition software can't tell the difference between meritocracy and mediocrity. That's the first thing I'd fix.
We\'re seeing a significant drop in customer complaints since we stopped answering our phones.
When preparation and opportunity collide, it causes a seismic upheaval and that\'s how mountains of money are made!

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