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Assorted Business Topics

I'm one of those new designer breeds...an execudoodle.
We need to stop hemorrhaging cash, reinvent the company, rebuild our reputation and win back 150 million customers. Is there an app for that?
That's our mission statement. Just let me make it to retirement without strangling anyone

Think Differnt. But not different from me.
Are you concerned about age discrimination? I noticed you printed your resume on Sponge Bob stationery.
My boss really screwed up today. He accidentally made me fee valued and respected.

I'm sorry, sir, but your handwriting was difficult to read. Did you want the entire office staff decaffeinated or decapitated?
Welcome to the company! Someone will be along soon to install your defense shield and haul away your confidence.
Remember: If life hands you lemons, make lemon furniture polish. It's more profitable than lemonade.

We're a Limited Partnership. We're limited by Allen's pessimism, Elizabeth's abrasive personality, and Dave's refusal to work weekends.
I have a delivery for you: 1000 pens with the slogan 'Excellence is in the Detales' and 500 factory-second slightly irregular coffee mugs that say 'Quality Matters'."
Follow your Dreams! It's supposed to inspire, but most employees see it as permission to take a nap.

I think I'm about to give birth to a new idea. My pains are there minutes apart.
The good news is, we're the #1 seller of concrete and lumber on the web. The bad news is, we got there by offering free shipping.
You went home last night at 5:30 and came back this morning at 8:30. Are you aware that counts as vacation time?

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