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Assorted Business Topics

Our lab created genetically engineered fruits and vegetables capable of having human emotions...but they all killed each other.
Explain it to me one more time. What's the difference between ethical behavior and being an annoying goody two-shoes nerd?
I high school, I failed every class so they named me Most Likely to Succeed. They figured my future could use a little boost.

I'm not allowed to cook the books anymore. Am I allowed to warm them up in the microwave?
Bascially, we're looking for people who are smart enough to hire, but stupid enough to accept the job.
One business card for your wallet, one for your desk, one for your car, one for your home office, one for your blue suit pocket, one for your brown suit pocket, one for your gray suit pocket...

Puttering around the yard helps me relax.
As I see it, we can settle the diversity issue much faster if we hire people with multiple personalities.
Our company doesn't have a monopoly on stupid decisions...but we're reviewing anti-trust laws to be sure.

I must be pretty important. This morning I got a paper cut and our stock dropped four points.
Jim and I have started writing together. We think we have what it takes to be the Lennon and McCartney of technical manuals.
This case is a real challenge. He's too weird for a regular job but not weird enough for politics.

We have Casual Friday's where I work. Anyone caught wearing a T-shirt and jeans is casually fired.
Our department project kickoff has music, singing, dancing, costumes ans a dazzling laser light show. In fact, we've decided to skip the presentation and take the show direct to Broadway!
My doctor said gardening is a good way to reduce stress, so I'm planting a suggestion on the corporate message board and harvesting my e-mail.

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