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High School / College

I feel weird about attending my class reunion. There are 40 pounds of me that never went to that school!
My class reunion is next week and I need to lose 25 pounds. Hold the pepperoni.
I'll probably stay in school until I get my PhD. Someday I'd like to feel smarter than my phone.

Plan B: You get a job and we send your smartphone to college.
We'll pay for your college, but only if you go to law school and handle our bankruptcy when you graduate.
Remember, graduates –– if you are not completely satisfied with your education, your ignorance will be cheerfully refunded.

I'm enrolling in seminary college so I can learn about miracles, like how ot pay off my student loans.
It's my resumé. The spell-checker accidentally changed Midstate Junior College to Harvard.
I have plenty of management experience. I spent 18 years telling my parents what to do.

I don't like to give a lot of homework over the weekend, so just read every other word.
Brain tissue is mostly made of fat. Gaining weight in college makes you smarter.
Your mother and I have saved enough money to send you to any college you like. Would you prefer train or bus?

It will cost $100,000 to send me to college, but I'll stay home for $50,000!
People are living longer than ever before. It's nature's way of helping you pay off your student loans.
You're right, son, it is unfair that some people earn more money than others. To make it fair, take over my job and support me while I go back to college!

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