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Cardiology

Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherburne, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707. E-MAIL: randy@glasbergen.com Sports
Cholesterol is a good thing. It keeps your arteries from collapsing when you've got the weight of the world coming down on you!
Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherburne, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707. E-MAIL: randy@glasbergen.COm Entertainment

There's a thin person inside me screaming to get out. No, wait –– he's yelling for me to order a pizza!
Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherburne, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707. E-MAIL: randy@glasbergen.com Entertainment
The good news is, you have a heart. The bad news is, it's filled with assorted chocolates.

Two hours in our waiting room with a bunch of coughing people and screaming children. That was your stress test.
You have a bleeding heart. Subscribe to National Review and start watching Fox News.
You told me to eat 5 fruits and vegetables every day. Today I had 3 raisins and 2 peas.

The good news, it's OK to eat butter after all. The bad news, it's not OK to eat any of the things you like to put butter on.
Bicycling is a great way to lose weight. Swallowing bugs for an hour will spoil your appetite.
Bicycling is a great way to lose weight. Swallowing bugs for an hour will spoil your appetite.

The Mediterranean Diet is supposed to be very healthy. Can you write me a prescription for a vacation in Greece?
My hamster ran on his wheel every day and died when he was 6 months old. Explain to me again how cardio is going to help me live longer.
Heads, fat is bad and carbs are good. Tails, fat is good and carbs are bad.

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This Week’s Cartoons

Care for some freshly-ground antidepressants in your coffee? I'll probably spend my whole life following orders from somebody. Instead of college, maybe you should send me to Obedience School. We sat in a circle, we had a story, we sang some dopey songs. Is any of this going to look good on a resume? His profile says he is a single college math professor and his age is listed as 4375... I'm proud to present you with our Salesman of the Year Award for only 12 easy payments of $19.95... Instead of teaching our team how to be better salespeople, maybe we should teach everyone else how to be better customers You need to find a stronger mouthwash. Customers can smell your bad breath over the phone.

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