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The secret to being a successful salesperson –– always stretch and warm up before you lunge for their wallet!
There is a magnetic strip on the back of every credit card. The magnets help stores pull you inside.
Wear this cologne to your next performance review. It smells like happy customers!

Do you want regular bottled water, low-fat water, zero-carb water, gluten-free water, peanut-safe water or free range water?
Coming in for your prescription and buying a ton of other stuff you really don\'t need...that\'s one of the side effects.
Nothing is just phone anymore. This one has an antenna that doubles as a nose hair trimmer!

There\'s even an app that gives you a foot massage! Just set your ringer to \'vibrate\' and stick it in your sock.
On the bottom of my resume, you'll find a coupon for 50¢ off my first paycheck.
If dolphins are just as smart as humans, why aren\'t we investing in underwater shopping malls and teaching them how to use credit cards?

If we provide great customer service, people will pester us with a bunch of stupid questions. Do we really want that?
I used to make fun of people who shop at Walmart, until the day I realized I was mocking my reflection.
Since I started couponing, I\'ve purchased 18 companies and spent only $23.49!

I\'m looking for something to insulate me from criticism.
A credit card is what you use when something costs too much and you want to pay more for it, advice, financial advice, money advice, credit card advice, spending, economics, education, money, teaching about money.
shopping-23

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This Week’s Cartoons

Today in school we learned about the three main branches of government: lobbyists, fund raisers and media. I believe in higher taxes for the rich, rich is anyone who makes a dollar more than I do The Politician's Lunch is a pork sandwich and we send the bill to your grandchildren. The government is providing free college education for everyone. It will be paid for by a new beer and pizza tax. Everywhere I go, people are eager to shake my hand and shower me with compliments. With that kind of charisma, I'd be crazy not to run for office! The government sent us a check. We've failed so many diets, our kitchen qualifies as a disaster area! toon_13

© Randy Glasbergen. All of the cartoons featured on this site are copyrighted material. Any unauthorized usage is prohibited and illegal. | (2000)