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Leadership, Management

I've been listening to your motivational programs while you're at work and I've decided to become a Great Dane!
Your office has a critical morale problem. My advice is to go from desk to desk licking people's faces.
May I have a copy of my performance review? My mom still gives me $5 for a good report card.
If elected, I promise to tweet every day, take lots of selfies with the hottest celebs and be totally awesome on all the chat shows.
I've been promoted to Executive Director of Sticky Note Management and Distribution.
Of course we employ people with disabilities! Dan can't make a decision, Tina is a chronic whiner, Zack can't stop talking, Kathy has no sense of humor, Tim can't sell....
I'd like to apologize for asking you to step outside of your comfort zone.
He said our team is suffering from 'paralysis by analysis'. Nobody knows what that means, but if it rhymes it must be very profound!
Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherburne, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707. E-MAIL: randy@glasbergen.com Technology
If you can keep your head while everyone around you is losing theirs, try to be reincarnated as a turkey.
This undertaking will involve a great deal of time on the phone, so for project manager we chose the person with the best ringtones.
If the Queen Bee concept catches on, I will consider you for a full-time leadership position.
To be honest, I know nothing about leading. But it's okay because my team knows nothing about following.
The key to successful leadership is knowing how to make people follow you. Leave a trail of doughnuts.
Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherbume, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707. E-MAIL: randy@glasbergen.com Entertainment
Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherbume, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707. E-MAIL: randy@glasbergen.com Entertainment
The office supply store is having a sale on red tape this week, but it will take us 9 months to approve the purchase.
I was born May 23, 1987. Since that day, millions of babies have followed me into the world. I'm a natural leader!
We don't pay extra for overtime. If you work more than 8 hours a day, we figure you owe us a volume discount.
Our office is making a renewed commitment to diversity. We'd like you to shave off your hair, cover your head with zombie tattoos and change your name to Snake.
Rule #1: There is no substitute for 'innovation'. Would the woman with the thesaurus please sit down and be quiet?

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