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Job Hunting / Recruiting / HR

I received a complaint from your computer. You haven't been washing your hands after you use the restroom.
If FDR could win World War II in a wheelchair, I'm sure I can win a price war for our sales team!
I was on workers comp for 18 months to recover from a job injury. After that, I had to go to rehab to cure my addition to daytime TV.

Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherburne, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707. E-MAIL: randyaglasbergen.com Technology
Neat Document-Randy Glasbergen, P.O. Box 797, Sherburne, N.Y. 13460. Phone: 607-316-4707. E-MAIL: randy@glasbergen.com Technology
I think I found our new Sales Manager. I just paid $500 to read his resume.

I was born May 23, 1987. Since that day, millions of babies have followed me into the world. I'm a natural leader!
We don't pay extra for overtime. If you work more than 8 hours a day, we figure you owe us a volume discount.
Have you ever been arrested for shoplifting? We're looking for someone who can help us steal customers from our competition.

You were my imaginary friend and we had some great times. But I haven't heard from you since I was five years old and now you show up and expect me to give you a job?
Have you ever been arrested for shoplifting? We're looking for someone who can help us steal customers from our competition.
How long have you been an emoji and what can you bring to our corporate communications program?

This office can't function when you're gone. We lost 10 of our biggest clients, 16 people resigned and we filed for bankruptcy while you were in the rest room.
I don't know what sort of salary you're offering, but on my last job I made a lot of dough!
I fired a computer today. Damn, that felt good!

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